When Did Men Turn Into Girls?

Reason # 4785: When Did Men Turn Into Girls?

Yep, I asked THAT question.  I went THERE.  Don't deny it.  What's with all the WHINING from men lately??

"I feel like I'm bothering you"

Guess what!  If you have to say THAT to me...YOU PROBABLY ARE!

Don't get me wrong...I like a man who can tell me what he's feeling...but don't fucking WHINE to me!  I don't whine to you when you haven't texted me in 3 days so don't fucking whine to me when I haven't texted you in 3 days.  I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HAVEN'T TEXTED ME!!  I HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU!

"You're a shitty friend"

You know what, fuck you.  If you say that to me after waiting a mere 5 minutes to respond to your whiny ass text, go fuck yourself and delete me.  If I haven't messaged you back in 5 minutes, chances are I either A.) Don't give a rat's ass what you're crying about or B.) I don't have the patience to even remotely put on a front and "care" about your problems.

"Sorry I was trying to help"

You know, I don't need your attempts to guilt me into talking to you.  You know what I'm going to do with THAT message?  I'm going to file it under "F" for "Fuck you".

"I just wanted to see you"

Don't care.  If I wanted to see you, I would have arranged that.

"You don't spend enough time with me"

Bitch, I have a full time job and 2 kids.  Fuck you.  Patience is a god damned virtue.  Try it.  If I'm coming home to you at night and we have time to cuddle and watch a movie before bed, you better feel lucky you get that long with me.

"I don't like you hanging out with your guy friends"

No no.  You don't get to decide who I hang out with or talk to.  It's not my problem you have insecurities about yourself that you have to punish me for them.  You do that shit and you're gone.

I realize that girls do this time and time again.  Shit, I was one of those girls that put limits on the men I was seeing.  I learned after a couple failed relationships that nobody has time for that!  You should let your significant other free and not cage them.  If they want to spend the day with their friends, let them!  It's one fucking day.  You guys will probably end up sleeping in the same bed after they get home so what's the big deal.  You need a balance in your relationship and people just don't get.  You gotta whine and whine and whine and think you are helping the relationship but in reality you're building resentment.  You will not have a relationship for very long if you build off these statements.  Think about it!!

Whitney :)    

 

   

My Dating Life.

I've been single for 5 months now.  Some of you will say that's nothing.  I say it's a lifetime...

I started dating when I was 14 (this does not include the one "boyfriend" I had in 5th grade...).  He was my first real kiss.  After he dumped me for not letting him go any further than kissing, I was devastated. Back then, I was the kind of girl who put everything into a person.  Heart, soul...hope.  

At 15, I got a new boyfriend.  He was from West and had a car.  Again, I put everything in to the relationship and at that age, kids were sexually active.  NOT ME.  This boyfriend told me who wouldn't have sex with anyone unless he was in love.  And low and behold, the next time we hung out, he told me he loved me.  Now if that isn't a 'playa playa' in the making!  I told him I liked him, but did not love him.  He didn't get laid and I didn't get my date for the Turnabout dance because he dumped me.

Right after that I started dating one of my best friends, I broke up with him, then started dating another friend.  (Never said that I was never at fault for break ups).  I met Larry while I was still dating someone, broke up with him and started dating Larry.  I was 16.

17, 18 then 19 years old came around.  I was still with Larry.  Around my 19th birthday, Larry proposed.  I said yes.  We were engaged.  On Mother's Day I took a pregnancy test which came back positive. Saturday January, 27th and had a beautiful baby boy, Payton.  When Payton was 5 months old, Larry and I got married.  It was a small back yard wedding at my parent's house and we had a reception after.  Flash forward a year and a half, December 2008.  I had become sick, dizzy, and my heart had become to race a couple times per day.  After almost passing out we decided to go to the hospital.  There, I found out I was pregnant.  Another baby!  Flash forward 7 months.  July 2008.  After coming home from a routine doctor visit I found Larry's wedding ring on the counter.  He had left me.  My marriage was over.  Thursday August 6, 2009 my water broke and I went into labor.  Larry decided not to come to the birth of Tyler, I did it without him, without anyone.  The divorce was final January 2010.

I had started dating one of my best friends after the divorce.  He picked up the pieces of my heart and tried so hard to glue them back together.  I just wasn't ready.  After 2 years of being together, I left him.  

Right after that, I started dating the worst mistake of my life.  I never...NEVER regretted being with anyone except for him.  Sociopathic sad excuse for a human being.  I put up with his bull shit for a year.  This relationship killed whatever self worth I had left from the many failed relationships before.  Emotionally damaging, I still have not recovered from this.  

And here I sit.  5 months after the break up with the psycho. My heart has been trying to tell my mind that it's time to let someone in.  My mind has taken over and is still emotionally exhausted from the failure that this life is.  And here I sit, thinking, maybe it is time?  Move slow...Listen to your broken and shattered heart for the cure that it needs.  And here I sit, scared that if I let another in, let another handle my heart...if it breaks again, there will be no glue strong enough to put the pieces together again.                          

This Is Me

I Am Me.

I am me.  I am not that skinny.  I have 2 kids.  I cry a little looking back at how I looked when I was in high school (skinny).  I usually only wear one pair of jeans because the rest of them I don't like the way they look on me.  I usually only wear dark colored clothes because I don't like the attention I think the bright colors will draw to me.  I usually wear baggier clothes because I don't like things hugging my imperfections.  I don't wear turtle necks or necklaces because I don't like things on my neck.  I don't have my ears pierced because putting the earrings in my ears make me sick just thinking about them going through my skin.  My laugh is loud and obnoxious.  I laugh when I am: nervous/ happy/depressed/in thought/drunk/mad, you get it....laughing is my default.  I don't cope well with hard to take news.  I pretend things don't exist if I don't want to deal with it.  My house isn't always clean, I will never tackle all the laundry in my house.  I get angry...a lot.  I always question why, why me?  What did I do?  I don't dress girly, and when I do I feel ridiculous.  I don't have fingernails because I bite them when I am nervous/bored/happy/sad/mad...that is my default also.  I am of Italian, Indian, German descent although the Italian is most prominent in my hair color and skin tone.  I have never had a successful relationship.  I am divorced.  I do not have many close friends.  I have more guy friends than girlfriends because I can't stand the way girls act most of the time.  I love to flirt.  I like to see how far I can take things.  I like to push people's buttons.  I'm pretty shy and quiet when I first meet someone.  I have a lot of balls when I am texting but could never say most things to one's face.  I have never hit anyone in the face but often fantasize about doing so. I work in IT.  I am the only woman on my IT team which makes it a little awesome (because I don't want to try and get along with other girls).  I like to cuddle up in my bed and watch the Lifetime channel on weekends.  That said, if I lay in bed for too long, I get a headache and my day is ruined (so why not spend it being un-showered and in bed watching Lifetime...).  I love watching re-runs of 90s sitcoms like Friends, Roseanne, Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Home Improvement, Step by Step, and Grace Under Fire.  I am socially awkward.  I am extremely sarcastic, and use that as a defense.  I get anxiety a lot.  I only go out with my friends.  If I go out with other people, I'm usually the one who is awkward and weird and doesn't talk.  I'm somewhat of a homebody.  It usually takes some coaxing to get me out of the house, but when I do, I have a pretty good time.  My sisters make me laugh until I cry.  When we go out we're usually the loudest people in the restaurant, just on how much we laugh and talk.  I go to my parent's house every Tuesday for dinner.  I hate letting my feelings show, and that makes people think I'm strong willed.  I break down, just not in front of people.  I get my feelings hurt, but why let that slow you down?  Crying about it won't change anything.  I would love to pick up and move to a different state and start over.  I am forgetful.  I am living with a condition called a shattered heart.  I lose hope.           



Here I Sit

And here I sit...

Here I sit, 

Sad and confused.

Here I sit,

My mind is exhausted.

Here I sit,

My heart is broken.

Here I sit,

Alone, and afraid.

Here I sit,

Silent and listening.

Here I sit,

Ready for a change.

Here I sit,
Trying to be brave.

Here I stand, 
Ready to fight.

Reason #4523

Reason # 4523...

The Infamous Quote:

"But I'm not like other guys!"

 

 

Girls like to complain to anyone who will listen.  Shit, they'll tell their Grandma what's going wrong in their relationship if she'll listen!  The one thing (of many) things I HATE about guys is that if you're just having a casual conversation with them and bring up something that your ex-boyfriend did, they say, 

"But I'm not like other guys!"
 

I get that guys know what guys do.  I get it.  But why do they have to sell themselves to girls?  We're not asking you to.  We are simply stating the fact that Douchey-McDouchester did this to me and I am MAD.  I'm not asking you how you are with girls.  I'm not asking you to "save" me from this guy.  I can handle myself.  And if I am this upset with a guy, what makes you think that I'm going to turn around and be all lovey dovey with you?  Let me tell you a story...

So, at my job (yes, my wonderful IT job where I am surrounded by the male gender) there is another guy (not to be confused with Tim if you have read my other posts) on a different desk.  My first week there, I went to get some lunch and this guy standing behind me in line starts talking to me.  He looked familiar but he had to introduce himself for me.  "James" is what we will call this one.  So my food was ready and his food came up after mine, his was to go, mine was to dine in.  He asked me if he could join me for lunch...OK...I guess.  He was very forward about getting my phone number....and to my unfortunate mistake, I gave it to him.  We said goodbye and I left. 

He started texting me the moment I pulled into the parking lot.  Asking me all these personal questions and asking what I thought of him...WEIRD.  I'm sorry, but you can't just bombard me with all of these questions...and ESPECIALLY questions that I don't want to answer.

"So what do you think of me?"
 

...Really?  You're going to ask me that?  (NOT attractive AT ALL, just absolutely no attraction.  I would rather date some of my girlfriends before I EVER dated him)  So I kind of changed the subject.  But, he kept coming back to it.  I finally said something along the lines of, "My last relationship really put me in a bad mood about dating all together.  I'm not ready to date and I really don't want to."  After I made this comment, James was just constantly bugging me about dating him and what I thought about him and that I was so beautiful and blah blah blah!  He actually cornered me in the break room at work and started asking me these questions...IN PERSON!  How can I hide my facial expression when he asks what I think about him??  I just casually laughed (what I do when I am angy, sad, confused, nervous, etc.) and told him I wasn't discussing this with him and ran out of the break room...
AWKWARD! 

"I hope you don't think I'm being too forward"
 

Was the text he sent me that night...NO!  Not at all!!  I love when you corner me in the break room and come at me with all those questions!  Sure!!  And these texts went on and they would always contain the usual...

"I'm not like other guys though. I'm so nice and I really think you should give me a chance."
 

NO!  So a couple days went by and then I got this text...

"I have a confession. I have a girlfriend. But things aren't going so well."
 

OK!  HOLD UP!  You mean to tell me that you're "not like other guys" but you have a GIRLFRIEND and you're trying to convince me to date you?!  Yea, because I believe you that you are different from guys now...PLEASE!  "But things aren't going well" SO?!  You break up with her if things aren't going well!  You don't wait and string her along until something better comes around!!  WTF is wrong with you guys?!  I just don't even know what goes on in your brains sometimes.  

Needless to say, I ended the "friendship" I had with this guy and I avoid him at work.  Pretty simple.

Trust issues they may say be the reason I don't date...but do you blame me?  My last relationship I paid for a plane ticket for him to go to Arizona to visit his family and when he comes back he tells me he cheated on me twice while he was there.  Now please, tell me why I should date?  To go through THAT again?  Guys think they know me, think they can "save" me, but it's because of guys like him and James that I have no desire on dating.

:) Whitney

 

  

 

 

   

 

Reason # 4522

Ah, reason # 4522.  LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS. 

 

 

I'm all about family.  I have 2 kids of my own and I make the 40 minute drive to my parents' house every Tuesday and on the holidays.  But, I do not LIVE with them. 

 

 I'm not even sure how many guys have sent a text to me asking if we could hang out and ok, what can I say, I play along. 

 

"Yea, maybe we can hang out sometime"

"What's your favorite movie?  Maybe we can watch it together sometime."

 

And as we get into the conversation and I think to myself, "hm, this could be fun" they throw out the living situation.  Just as you think you're going to make it to home base, BAM!  Smacked in the face by the ball. 

 

"You what?  Oh, so you'll have to come to MY house....hmm...yea.."

 

I have no problem with opening my house to these potential dates...but come on!  We can't have that perfect date where we do dinner then he invites me to his house to watch a movie.  NOPE!  Sorry about your luck, you attract the losers that "can afford to live on their own but are staying with their parents to help them out".  Please.  Stay in your basement "apartment", play WOW, and call your mom to make you a sandwich and see if she can bring it down for you.

 

What happened to the real men who own/rent their own place???  Am I not looking in the right spots for these guys?  I bet they are hiding...or already have girlfriends.

 

 

This is just a sad reoccurance for me that just turns me off completely.  I understand that you may be tight for money, but that just means that I will have to pay for things.  And, an example from my last relationship, I paid for EVERYTHING!  He didn't live with his parents but he always came up with the excuse of how he didn't have any money so the check was always passed to me.  So now, I associate the guy living with his parents with me paying for eveything and I will not go back to THAT.

 

I'm not wanting to be spoiled, but I think from my last relationship, I deserve something.  Whether it be for a guy to take me out on a real date, pay for dinner, movie, etc.  I am not saying that he has to pay ALL the time, but it would be nice to split the responsibility sometimes. 

 

I'm sure people will have their opinions of me being so picky and sort of...mean about what I have to say about living with your parents but...these are my thoughts. 

 

:) Whitney